


Go Ahead And Jump

by lukeinallhisglory



Series: Poetry [8]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Existentialism, Free Verse, Gen, Mistakes, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:49:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21741745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lukeinallhisglory/pseuds/lukeinallhisglory
Summary: A short poem about fucking up.
Series: Poetry [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/755247
Kudos: 5





	Go Ahead And Jump

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably a mess but I wanted to put it out there.
> 
> Title from “Jump” by Van Halen

Give me a fucking trophy

I’ve outdone myself

In fact I constantly do

I think I’m inherently fucked up

Because of my parents

Society

All

My

Fault

I am inherently the worst person I know

Which shouldn’t have taken me so long to figure out

But the people around me are wonderfully flawed and amazingly imperfect human beings

And I am perfect

In that I am awful and I never fucking budge

Even one inch

I have always known this

I’m controlling

I’m existentially floating

I have panic attacks in class

I can’t protect the people I love

From myself

And half the time I don’t even think I want to

I am my father

I will end up with children who hate me

Or nothing at all

I have always known that I was exactly like him

In all of the ways that matter

In all of the ways that he is destructive

It’s possible I’m nothing

And I spend all of my time waiting for something to work

Or give

And I needed to learn that I’m hurting people

And I’m mean

And maybe I’m not capable of being anything else

People should hate me

And they probably do

I hate me

And yet

Despite all of that

I am fiercely protective

Of this person that I hate

Sometimes I think all of my energy is directed at protecting

Someone that I hate

Every day I consider dropping out

Quitting

Dying

And every day I choose to just be miserable

And impose all of these flaws on the people around me

Call them personality

The phrase that comes to mind is

I suck

And I do

I fucking suck

And that sucks to know

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading that, if you liked it you can check out my other stuff.


End file.
